On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
