some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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