How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
