How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize