Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
