Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
