i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
