You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
