You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
