so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
