Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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