Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Pants are for mortals
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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