Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
