Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
