I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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