im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
