I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
