He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
