Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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