Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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