You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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