i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
