Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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