i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
