Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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