I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He? As in you personified your dick?
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