Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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