it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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