got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
