a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
