you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
