my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
