Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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