Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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