Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
