How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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