I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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