I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
