And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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