I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
