By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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