Do you still have your period?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
