you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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