I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize