are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
