if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
