i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
