i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
