I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
