IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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