she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
