shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
