A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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