Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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