The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
