There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
