My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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