My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And then my night got REAL pukey
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
