You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
