The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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