Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
