shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
