whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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