Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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