3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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