When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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